Trusting God When Life Doesn’t Go Your Way
We’ve all been there. You’ve been looking forward to something for months, maybe even years, and—suddenly—that something gets ripped away from you. Or, perhaps, you’ve been highly anticipating a particular event, day or trip; yet when it happens, it’s not quite what you hoped it would be. You’re left disappointed, frustrated, heartbroken, confused and wondering why life never seems to go your way.
Why do we feel this way? How can we take these big feelings and major disappointments and ultimately use them to point ourselves and those around us to Jesus? When our plans fall apart, we’re left with a choice: trust God with our failed plans or cling to anything and everything we can control ourselves.
The hard truth is that we like to say God is in control while we, instead, try manage all of the moving parts ourselves. Some of us like control a little more than others—and some of us are unwilling to admit how much we really enjoy being in control. It’s easier to call ourselves “planners” instead of “control freaks,” but the root of the problem is still the same—the desire to be in control of our situations and the possible outcomes.
It is not sinful to feel the weight of grief or the sting of unmet expectations. However, our feelings are not the final authority; God is. How, then, do we shift our focus from our crushed emotions to a God-centered view of our situations?
Start Well: Focus on God during the Planning
Of course, it’s not realistic to not plan at all. We can’t just sit back with our feet propped up on the desk and our hands behind our heads and expect God to work out all the details. God expects action on our part. The difference is that He expects us to acknowledge Him and His Will all throughout the planning process.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
When we begin the planning process with God’s Will in the forefront of our minds, we begin to align our plans with His. We start well to finish well.
Hold Your Plans Loosely
Will everything always go according to plan? Absolutely not. Even when we pray fervently through the planning process, there is still no guarantee that our plans will go off without a hitch. If God is all powerful and sovereign (and He is!), then He has permission to wreck our plans. We must not be so married to our plans going our way that we get derailed when the Lord shifts our course.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
We must plan with the understanding that we are not in control. None of us knows what tomorrow holds or if we’re even promised tomorrow. Though God cares deeply about the needs of His children (Matthew 10:29-31), each day in our lives is but a drop in the bucket of eternity. What seems huge to us in the moment is really small potatoes in relation to God’s eternal perspective.
So, yes, we plan. And we plan best when we seek out and are in alignment with God’s Will. But we must also hold our plans with open hands. Even so, we may still find ourselves facing disappointment when God changes our course.
Take Your Sorrows to the Father
So what happens when your plans get wrecked? Regardless of how you ended up there, it hurts. Jesus laid out the example for us the night before He was crucified. Matthew 26:36-46 details Jesus’s sorrow and troubled spirit. He confided in His disciples that he was full of sorrow. While He could have wallowed in self pity and vented to His friends, Jesus, instead, took His troubles to His Father. Verse 39 is a beautiful picture of submission, as Jesus laid aside His personal wishes and instead prayed for the Lord’s Will. It’s not always easy to set aside our own wants. It certainly takes practice. But the example in Scripture is clear.
Jesus understands sorrow and disappointment. He’s been there. Hebrews 4:15-16 tells us He sympathizes with our weaknesses and that we should draw near to Him in those times.
Find Purpose in the Pain
You may never know the reason things didn’t go your way; however, you can be certain God has a purpose. Instead of dwelling on the pain, turn your thoughts from pity to purpose. We often learn more in the valleys than on the mountain tops. What is God trying to teach you through this hardship?
Scripture clearly tells us that God works all things for good and His glory (Romans 8:28). That doesn’t mean every circumstance will always be pleasant or fun, but it does mean that every situation has purpose. Furthermore, we know that God accomplishes His purposes (Psalm 138:8; Ephesians 1:11).
Spend time praising God for His goodness and His sovereignty. Ask Him to reveal to you how you can learn from your circumstances and how the current events could be shaping you to be more like His Son.
Tying it All Together
In the end, we must remember that our identity should not be found in our circumstances, but in God’s Truth. Through the good and the bad, God is steadfast and unmovable. When we tie our identity to Him and His purposes, we can have joy and contentment regardless of our circumstances, even in the midst of our deepest sorrows. The more we practice holding our plans with open hands and allowing God to be in control, the easier it is to see His purposes when we’re in pain.
How well do you plan?
Do you align your will with His while you plan, or is it always about what you want?
Do you allow God to redirect you or are you married to your plans?
Do you run to the Father or from Him when things don’t go according to plan?
Do you wallow in disappointment, or do you seek what God is teaching you?
