You have probably heard Percy Sledge’s chart-topping R&B hit released in 1966 called “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Today, instead of learning about when a man loves a woman, I want us to learn about how a man should love a woman. How does God want a man to love his wife?

Whereas the wife is called to submit (something we unpacked in THIS blog post), the husband is most certainly NOT called to rule or dictate. Rather, in a beautiful twist, he is called to love. We will look at three specific ways this should play out in marriage according to Ephesians 5:25-33.

First, a Christian husband is to love his wife sacrificially (v. 25).

Of all the metaphors God could have chosen to lead Paul to write, He chose the most beautiful act of love to ever exist. Christ’s love for the church is seen in His willingness to lay down His own life to give her life. The command is to love one’s wife. It is not a feeling or emotion. It is an exercise of the will. While a man cannot do this without the power of God working in him, the Christian husband serious about obeying his Savior MUST love his wife.

Next, Paul tells us that a Christian husband is to love his wife intentionally (vv. 26-27).

The ideal of the All-American husband is a guy who loves his wife, stays faithful to her, provides for her, and makes her feel special. These are all worthy and moral intentions. The missing piece, however, is the spiritual desire and intentionality to see her grow to be more like Christ. This is what makes a Christian husband distinctive from a moral husband. Only a Christian husband has access to the Holy Spirit through a personal relationship with Christ. Therefore, only a Christian husband can be used by God to nurture and grow his wife.

Certainly, a husband is not his wife’s Savior. He cannot do what only the Holy Spirit can do in her life. But he can lead and love her just as Christ leads and loves the church. As he does this, his wife can be drawn closer to Christ because of his life, love, and leadership.

I love what John Piper has to say about this passage of Scripture and being the head of the home: “Headship is leadership. Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.” This call to headship implies an incredible opportunity to lead. Leading one’s wife as a husband demands intentionality.

Lastly, the Christian husband is to love his wife intimately (vv. 28-33).

Oneness is stressed as Paul closes this passage. The church is one with Christ, and a husband is one with his wife. His love for her, therefore, ought to be as strong as any love he has for himself. The default desire of the human heart is to think about our own wants, needs, and desires first. But a man’s love for his wife should be so intimate that he learns to think about her just as naturally as he does himself.

I realize many men feel overwhelmed by the idea of spiritually leading their wives and families. If that is you, please allow my words to encourage you.

Leading spiritually has nothing to do with your personality or your past. Often, men think they have to sound and act like their pastor to be a spiritual leader. While pastors should be examples, there is a big difference between pastoring a church and leading your wife. Whether you feel like you are not well versed in the Bible, have strayed from God in the past, or have never had a good example to follow, God’s commands are not conditional. No matter where a man has been in the past, he can obey God, and God promises to empower his efforts.

The single greatest act of spiritual leadership in a husband’s life is simply being the lead follower of Christ in his home. He cannot lead his wife where he is not going himself.

Spiritually leading one’s wife happens in the ordinary motions of everyday life. It does not require mystical language or hidden practices. It is, however, best accomplished with other men who follow Christ. Men need and thrive with other men. A man serious about loving his wife intentionally should surround himself with other men devoted to the same high calling.

Statistically, wives will outlive their husbands. If this does happen, you want your wife to be able to look at your casket and say, “There is the body of a man who wasn’t perfect. But because he loved me and led me well, I’m more in love with the Lord Jesus, and I believe and trust God more because I watched this man walk with God.” This is the goal.

For more resources from Pastor D.J. Horton, or Living Worthy Ministries, click here.

Here are some short prayers written for the many different kinds of fathers—new fathers, faithful fathers, single fathers, spiritual fathers, grieving fathers, waiting fathers, and father figures.

New Fathers — Deuteronomy 31:6

Lord, thank you for the precious gift of new life and the sacred responsibility that comes with fatherhood. Strengthen this new dad as he learns to care for and lead his child. Give him wisdom beyond his years, patience for the long nights, and courage in the unknowns. Let him lean into your presence, knowing that you are with him every step of the way. May his home be a place of peace, laughter, and grace.
Amen.

Faithful Fathers — Galatians 6:9

Lord, thank you for the dad who shows up—day after day, year after year. The man who drives the carpool, prays over meals, works hard, and stays steady even when it’s unnoticed. Encourage his heart today. Renew his strength when he’s tired, and remind him that his consistency reflects your faithfulness. May he see the eternal impact of his quiet sacrifices.

Amen.

Single Fathers — 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lord, be the strength of the single father—when he’s overwhelmed, when he feels the weight of doing it all, and when the loneliness sets in. Remind him that you go before him and surround him. Give him courage to ask for help and the humility to receive it. Fill the gaps with your grace, and may his children see in him a reflection of your love and perseverance.
Amen.

Spiritual Fathers — Proverbs 27:17

Lord, thank you for the spiritual fathers—the mentors, disciplers, and faithful leaders who speak truth, model integrity, and invest in others day by day. When they feel unseen or unsure if it’s making a difference, remind them: they are sharpening lives for your kingdom. Help them not lose heart in doing good. May they find encouragement in your Word, and may they one day see the fruit of their faithfulness in the lives they helped shape.
Amen.

Grieving Fathers — Psalm 34:18

Lord, for the dad carrying grief today—whether from the loss of a child, his own father, or a broken relationship—be near. Wrap him in your comfort. Let him know he is not alone in his sorrow, and that you are a God who weeps with those who weep. Bring healing in time, hope in the darkness, and peace that surpasses understanding.
Amen.

Waiting Fathers — Proverbs 13:12

Lord, for the man whose heart longs to be a father—meet him in the waiting. Whether he is facing infertility, adoption delays, or the ache of unanswered prayer, remind him that you are near to the brokenhearted and faithful to fulfill your promises. Give him strength to keep trusting, and surround him with community that speaks life and faith over his story.
Amen.

Father Figures — Psalm 112:1-2

Lord, thank you for the men who step into fatherly roles—mentors, coaches, uncles, grandfathers, and friends—who invest time, love, and wisdom into others. When this season feels challenging or their efforts seem unseen, remind them that their faithfulness is a blessing that impacts generations. May they find joy and strength in knowing that honoring you and walking in your ways leaves a lasting legacy far beyond what they can see.
Amen.

Here are some short prayers written for the many different kinds of fathers—new fathers, faithful fathers, single fathers, spiritual fathers, grieving fathers, waiting fathers, and father figures.

New Fathers — Deuteronomy 31:6

Lord, thank you for the precious gift of new life and the sacred responsibility that comes with fatherhood. Strengthen this new dad as he learns to care for and lead his child. Give him wisdom beyond his years, patience for the long nights, and courage in the unknowns. Let him lean into your presence, knowing that you are with him every step of the way. May his home be a place of peace, laughter, and grace.
Amen.

Faithful Fathers — Galatians 6:9

Lord, thank you for the dad who shows up—day after day, year after year. The man who drives the carpool, prays over meals, works hard, and stays steady even when it’s unnoticed. Encourage his heart today. Renew his strength when he’s tired, and remind him that his consistency reflects your faithfulness. May he see the eternal impact of his quiet sacrifices.

Amen.

Single Fathers — 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lord, be the strength of the single father—when he’s overwhelmed, when he feels the weight of doing it all, and when the loneliness sets in. Remind him that you go before him and surround him. Give him courage to ask for help and the humility to receive it. Fill the gaps with your grace, and may his children see in him a reflection of your love and perseverance.
Amen.

Spiritual Fathers — Proverbs 27:17

Lord, thank you for the spiritual fathers—the mentors, disciplers, and faithful leaders who speak truth, model integrity, and invest in others day by day. When they feel unseen or unsure if it’s making a difference, remind them: they are sharpening lives for your kingdom. Help them not lose heart in doing good. May they find encouragement in your Word, and may they one day see the fruit of their faithfulness in the lives they helped shape.
Amen.

Grieving Fathers — Psalm 34:18

Lord, for the dad carrying grief today—whether from the loss of a child, his own father, or a broken relationship—be near. Wrap him in your comfort. Let him know he is not alone in his sorrow, and that you are a God who weeps with those who weep. Bring healing in time, hope in the darkness, and peace that surpasses understanding.
Amen.

Waiting Fathers — Proverbs 13:12

Lord, for the man whose heart longs to be a father—meet him in the waiting. Whether he is facing infertility, adoption delays, or the ache of unanswered prayer, remind him that you are near to the brokenhearted and faithful to fulfill your promises. Give him strength to keep trusting, and surround him with community that speaks life and faith over his story.
Amen.

Father Figures — Psalm 112:1-2

Lord, thank you for the men who step into fatherly roles—mentors, coaches, uncles, grandfathers, and friends—who invest time, love, and wisdom into others. When this season feels challenging or their efforts seem unseen, remind them that their faithfulness is a blessing that impacts generations. May they find joy and strength in knowing that honoring you and walking in your ways leaves a lasting legacy far beyond what they can see.
Amen.

Often, submission is seen as archaic and chauvinistic, and it is not a subject I take lightly or want to write about flippantly. As a husband to an incredible woman, the father to three beautiful daughters, and the pastor to a church filled with wonderful ladies, when I come to the teachings of the Bible directed at women, I work hard to be sensitive to the challenges they face.

Recently, while preaching on marriage, I unpacked a very familiar passage written by the Apostle Paul to the church in Ephesus. He writes, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22–24).

The book of Ephesians is not primarily about marriage; it is about the life we are supposed to live in Christ. The life you live for Christ touches every relationship you have: your relationships with God, your church, your children, and your spouse. Paul, mincing no words, says the primary way a woman relates to her husband should be characterized by humble submission. I realize passages like this can be misunderstood, misapplied, and, sadly, result in women being mistreated. For this reason, let me briefly explain what biblical submission does not mean in a woman’s life.

First, submission is NOT subservience. Subservience is defined as someone being useful in an inferior capacity. Submission, on the other hand, is defined as someone choosing to yield to authority and has nothing to do with worth or value.

Next, submission does NOT suppress women. Often submission is seen as archaic and chauvinistic. But a godly woman is most certainly NOT obligated to go out and blindly submit to all men in general. She is called to submit, first to her father and second to her husband.

Finally, submission does NOT spread sin.

Some argue that telling wives to submit to their husbands causes women to endure abuse and removes accountability for men. Unfortunately, all Scripture can be sinfully twisted, and my heart breaks that there are women who have been in volatile, and even violent, situations, only to have their husbands or irresponsible spiritual leaders throw submission in their faces. Clearly, acting sinfully or continually being treated sinfully in the name of submission is not biblical submission.

What does it mean to submit? We will use the acronym W.I.F.E. to help us look at four pillars of submission found in Ephesians 5:22-24.

Worship of true submission:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (v. 22).

Paul is not saying women should worship their husbands the way they worship God. He is saying that submission is an act of worship to God because God has commanded it. Any act of obedience by any Christian is an act of worship.

Illustration of true submission:

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (v. 23).

Paul gives the illustration that wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Again, submission of the church here is not referencing worship, but the way the church loves, honors, and respects Christ. There is a difference between submitting in your behavior and submitting in your attitude. Submitting to your husband will not always be easy. But if you submit with a heart full of resentment, you are saying with your attitude that you do not trust God, nor do you believe that He sees your heart and your struggles.

Faith of true submission:

“Now as the church submits to Christ...” (v. 24a).

Submission is not connected to having a perfect or worthy husband. A wife submits because her Heavenly Father has said this is her primary role inside of marriage. Her willingness to submit reveals that her trust is ultimately in the Lord.

Extent of true submission:

“...so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (v. 24b).

This is the most difficult part of the passage. In the original language of the text “in everything” means “in everything.” Without the discernment of the Holy Spirit, this can sound extraordinarily difficult, especially in situations where a husband does not have his wife’s best interests in mind. Nowhere in Scripture are we ever told that a husband should force submission. In other words, the command is always to the wife, not to the husband. Often in abusive situations, the husband is wrongfully and sinfully trying to force subservience.

We must go back to Paul’s letter as a whole and remember he goes on to write that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25)  And what did Christ do for the church? He died for the church. Husbands, if she is to submit to us in everything, we must lay down our lives and our agendas, making it our primary goal to love, protect, and nurture her. We must love and lead sacrificially. (I’ll share more on this in my next blog post, coming soon.) 

Finally, submission is not just for wives. A brief survey of the Bible shows that all Christians should submit often in their lives. To list a few examples, we are all commanded to submit to God’s Will, His Word, our spiritual leaders, our parents, and the laws of our governing authorities. No matter what the world tries to tell us, submission is not taboo or outdated. It is a beautiful thing to see a strong woman, secure in her identity in Christ, willingly offering her life and service to her husband and her family. Not only does this make for a strong family, but it is also a great advertisement for the power of the gospel, which is built on a Savior who submitted His life unto death for our salvation. 

For more resources from Pastor D.J. Horton, or Living Worthy Ministries, click here.

John 16:4b–15

The Trinity—The Triune God. Most believers are well acquainted with God the Father, and many have a deep understanding of God the Son. Jesus, the second person of the Trinity, is the One we especially celebrate during seasons like Christmas and Easter. Many believers understand God the Father and God the Son, but fewer grasp how to abide with the Holy Spirit—the often-misunderstood person within the Trinity.

Much of what we know about who the Holy Spirit is—and what His role entails—comes from the New Testament. In His final days on earth, Jesus offered a powerful and detailed teaching about the coming of the Holy Spirit. In His farewell discourse—some of the last words He shared with His disciples—Jesus gave both them and us a clear picture of the Spirit's role. In this passage, we see two primary functions of the Holy Spirit: His work in the world and His work in the lives of believers.

His Work in the World (v. 8–11)

One of the Holy Spirit’s key roles is to act as a witness to the world. He testifies to the truth of who the Father and the Son are. In other words, the Holy Spirit directly confronts the sin of unbelief— the refusal to believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, sent by the Father for the salvation of the world.

The Holy Spirit also reveals the truth and power of Christ’s death and resurrection. He affirms that Jesus’s crucifixion, burial, resurrection, and ascension were not random events, but the fulfillment of the Father’s plan to defeat sin and death once and for all.

Through His presence and power, the Spirit convicts the world of its sin and opens eyes to the righteousness of Christ. He discerns the hearts of humanity—what is good, what is sinful, and what the eternal consequences are. He doesn't simply expose wrongdoing; He lovingly draws us toward the truth of the gospel and the grace of Christ.

His Work in the Witness (v. 12–15)

The Spirit doesn’t only work in the world; He works within those who believe in Christ. He indwells us, empowers us, and directs our lives. The Holy Spirit is not a distant presence, but God Himself, actively guiding those who follow Jesus.

Our role? To listen. To yield. To walk in step with Him.

As we do, the Spirit bears witness through our lives. He continually points us to Jesus, reminding us of His words, revealing His will, and transforming us into His image. The Spirit does not speak on His own; He speaks what He hears from the Father and the Son. His mission is to glorify Christ. As we surrender to Him, our lives begin to do the same.

This is the beautiful gift Jesus promised: not that we would walk alone, but that God would dwell in us. Through the Holy Spirit, we’re not only given guidance—we’re given God’s presence. As we abide with the Spirit, He shapes our thoughts, redirects our desires, and transforms our character to reflect Christ.

So let us be people who don’t just acknowledge the Spirit, but abide with Him. Let us welcome His conviction, trust His leading, and respond to His voice. And, as we do, may our lives increasingly reflect the Son through the power of the Spirit, for the glory of the Father.

Join us from June 2-June 27 as we dive into God's Word together and discover His design for the family—rooted in truth, grace, and Gospel purpose with our Summer is for Family Bible Reading Plan. This 4-week Bible reading plan follows our CATM sermon series Summer is for Family, exploring what the Bible has to say about the theology of family, the mission of the family, Christ-centered relationships and Spirit-led leadership within the family. We pray this Bible Reading Plan will deepen your understanding of God’s heart for the home and help you live out your faith where it matters most!

Romans 12:3-8

Someone once said that “the sum is greater than its parts.” That is true of a number of things, especially of casseroles. You could eat each ingredient of your favorite casserole, but you don’t experience the full effect until they are combined and consumed together. 

The same can be said of intentional relationships in the Church. While each church may emphasize specific values or ministries, the church as a whole is designed to function as one body made up of many members, each playing a vital role (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). One of the most crucial things that must be cultivated and practiced in the church is authentic, intentional relationships (Romans 12:10). As followers of Christ, we are not meant to go through life alone (Hebrews 10:24-25). We are called to be a part of intentional relationships with others who desire to follow Christ (John 13:34-35). 

In intentional relationships, there are four parts that we must consider in order for them to be effective in loving God and loving others:

Authentic Humility (Romans 12:4)

As we strive to become more like Christ for the glory of God and the advancement of the gospel, we should expect to face opposition (2 Timothy 3:12). While we long to serve others, obstacles will arise. God's Word reminds us not to be surprised when trials come our way (1 Peter 4:12). These barriers may come from situations, people, or the enemy himself, all seeking to hinder the proclamation of the gospel. Yet more often than not, we find that our greatest obstacle is ourselves—our own sin and selfishness that resist the work of the gospel in our hearts and through our lives (Romans 7:18-19).

To confront this, we must be willing to examine ourselves honestly and view our hearts as God sees them through His Word (2 Corinthians 13:5). We must recognize our natural inclination toward selfishness and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us through prayer and Scripture (Psalm 139:23-24). Then, by His strength, we are empowered to put our sin to death and deny ourselves daily (Romans 8:13).

It is in this posture of surrender and humility that we are able to engage in relationships with others in a way that reflects the love of Christ and brings glory to God.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus[.]”

Philippians 2:3-5

Gospel Identity (Romans 12:4-5)

Our desire for intentional relationships is deeply rooted in the gospel. We have hope and a new identity because of Jesus’s finished work on the cross and His resurrection (Romans 5:1–2). Through faith in Him, we now belong to God; we confess Jesus as Lord and believe in His saving power (Romans 10:9).

When Jesus walked the earth, He had one physical body. Now, on this side of the cross and the resurrection, He is represented by a spiritual body. In Christ, there is one body: the Church. Scripture tells us that there is one body and one Spirit, just as we were called to one hope in Christ (Ephesians 4:4–5). As His body, we are set apart to make His name known and live out His Kingdom purposes (1 Peter 2:9).

So, what does that mean for us? It means that, as members of the body of Christ, we are called to care deeply for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25–27). Whether we’re participating in a Small Group, serving in Kids or Student Ministry, or stepping out on mission, we are actively declaring with our lives that we belong to Jesus—and that we are committed to His people.

Spiritual Ability (Romans 12:6-8)

Though we share one gospel identity as the body of Christ, God has given each of us different gifts. Just as the human body has many parts with unique functions, so does the Church. Scripture reminds us that there are varieties of gifts— but the same Spirit who empowers them all (1 Corinthians 12:4–6). Whether it’s teaching, preaching, serving, or other forms of ministry, these gifts are given by the Holy Spirit to build up the Church. They help the body function in unity, grow in maturity, and move forward according to God’s Word and the power of His Spirit (Romans 12:4–8). By the same Spirit who gives the gifts, we are also spiritually equipped and empowered to use them for God’s glory and the good of His people (2 Peter 1:3).

Passionate Activity (Romans 12:9-13)

Finally, intentional relationships require passionate, Spirit-led action— or zeal (Romans 12:11). God has graciously given each of us spiritual gifts through the Holy Spirit for the purpose of building up the body of Christ so it functions as it should (1 Corinthians 12:4–7). But in using these gifts, our attitudes matter. If God gives generously and joyfully, we should reflect that same posture. Our gifts are most effective when they are offered with joy, eagerness, and a willing heart— ready to love the Lord, love others, and serve faithfully (1 Peter 4:10–11).

Intentional relationships are the heartbeat of a thriving church, where humility, identity, gifts, and passion come together to reflect Christ’s love. As we commit to these principles, we not only grow closer to God but also build a community that truly embodies His Kingdom on earth.